Are you having trouble with saying ‘No’ to an environment that screams for your help, attention, advice or guidance? Being a sensitive creature and a mother surrounded by people asking help thus time and energy – I’ve come to learn the importance of saying ‘no’ when the bucket has nearly reached the top. Here’s 5 steps to practice saying ‘No’.
It may sound strange at first but try to focus on your breathing when you need to ‘ground’ yourself after noticing the other person’s emotion is getting to you. Breathing techniques combined with the right posture (and thoughts) will help you keep your balance, which is important when saying ‘No’. Read more about breathing techniques here.
Bring your focus to the person or situation that is asking your attention by listening carefully and absorb until you understand. Don’t be afraid to ask to repeat the question, you might even already help someone by reflection. Read more about how to focus here.
3. Don’t judge
When someone or something needs your attention, your advice or just a listening ear, try not to judge. Keep an open mind and use words from an helicopter view’s perspective. It’s not your life to live nor is it worth to judge.
4. Set boundaries
Realize that you can’t always please, despite following step 1 – 3. When you simply can’t help, for whatever reason, you have your boundaries and it’s up to you if and when you let anyone cross it. People will not like or even love you less if you can’t give that what they ask of you. And if they do, well, who cares? You are the boss of you and you better be a friendly boss to yourself , or else!
5. Be you
Remember, it’s OK to be you and it’s OK to say ‘No’. Yes, it feels awful to disappoint someone, and yes feeling guilty makes you a loveable being, but luckily we humans are sort of flexible and we do survive when we need to work things out ourselves. As long as we do not judge and prevent using each other for our own benefit, we will be alright.
Stay tuned for my next article: 5 reasons why you should say ‘Yes’. Until then, follow me on Instagram for more tips and inspiration and tag me in your pictures or leave a comment below, I’d love to read your experiences with saying ‘No’.
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