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Going coconuts

You went to the grocery store and bought this big and round coconut. Don’t be too happy, the worst part is yet to come: opening it! Each and every time I struggle with that horrible thing, I’m going coconuts!

How the story begins
I always start with a regular knife. After a few seconds I find out that this isn’t going to work.. Than I take another bigger knife and have the same problem. Not working! I slowly start to get irritated already because now I have to do dishes for 2 knifes that didn’t work and there are small coconut shell pieces all over my kitchen, including the floor.

I decide to take it outside and get my tools:
→ A hammer
→ A screwdriver
I put the screwdriver in one of the darker holes at the top of the coconut and start smashing the hammer on top. This seems to work, now there’s a small whole in my coconut but the screwdriver is still inside. Taking it out isn’t that easy either! So I just pull. HARD.

Now I can pour the coconut juice in a glass. I take a big sip and always seem to forget that I really don’t like the taste of coconutwater.. So I empty the glass in the sink and head back to my coconut.

How the story ends
I take the hammer and screwdriver again and start making a crack on the linings of the coconut. When my patience is gone, I take the coconut and just smash the hammer until it cracks open. Now I have to take all the dirt out because they’re shattered all over my garden and I have to rinse them with water. I take the coconut flesh piece by piece out, put it in a tupperware and store it in the fridge. After a few days I decide I didn’t feel like eating that many cocos after all so I throw it away. That’s how the cocostory ends.

And then there was..
But…There must have been someone (read: someone smarter than me) that has a better idea for opening a coconut. Since there isn’t a 30-day-challenge for opening a coconut, I went to my best friend: Google.  And guess what, there are ‘easier’ ways.

Try these tips and tricks:
→ Puncture two of the coconuteyes with a nail or screw, so that air can go in one while the coconut water comes out of another. It’s so much faster!

→  The coconut has a face on the pointy end, formed of 3 black spots. The two closest together form the “eyes” the third is the “mouth”. The mouth is the weakest of the three , a sharp tool such as the blade of a pair of scissors will easily pass through the mouth into the hollow cavity

→  If the coconut holes end up small and it’s taking a while to drain, try holding the coconut over a glass and blowing through one hole. The liquid will come out quickly from the other!

→  Put the coconut in a plastic bag and smash it on a concrete floor. Use a hammer or similar object. This way it won’t shatter all over and the coconut flesh stays clean

→  Place the coconut in the oven at 200º. Bake for 15-minutes. Alternatively, freeze it for the same amount of time. This will loosen the shell from the flesh inside. DON’T put the nut in the oven with the water inside. It might explode if it is left for too long and the water turns into steam, creating high pressure inside.

Ofcourse there are looooooots of tutorials about how to open a coconut on YouTube. They are all called “The easy way to open a coconut”. But I still don’t believe there is an easy way to open a coconut so I suggest you just head over to plan B: Buy pre-sliced coconutpieces at the store or toko  instead of the whole thing.

 

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